When I was in my mid-thirties, a small elephant came, sat on my chest and refused to leave. The cause and removal of this elephant required a very early morning visit to the hospital for tests. These tests necessitated fasting, having machines hooked to my body, and the insertion into my hand a special IV. That morning the IV nurse was a few minutes late. The on-schedule doctor attempted the job but collapsed the vein, resulting in an impressive amount of blood. Someone said, “Do you faint at the sight of blood?” “No,” I said stoutly, and immediately fainted.

Next up was a treadmill test that included the insertion of a radioactive isotope. When I reached maximum height and speed, a telephone next to the treadmill controls rang and as the doctor answered, he inadvertently hit the stop button. I catapulted off the machine, and horrified people fluttered around readjusting wires, tubes and me. As Southern women do, I assured all that I was fine and attempting to alleviate the situation said, “Where did y’all say you went to school?” and one answered, “The school of You Can Do It Too!”

The tests ended with me on a table above which was a rotating machine that was to track the progress of the isotope. Of course, the machine didn’t work. I was reminded of Judith Voist’s 1972 children’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Awhile back my sister sent a poem to me titled The Sinful Woman by Ron Koertge. It is based on the biblical story of a woman who had been a prostitute but had great faith and was forgiven. (Luke 7:36-50). In the poem, the woman comes to the disciples telling them her boyfriends won’t leave her alone and asks if she can possibly be a little sinful, just on the weekends, and maybe Wednesdays. Peter says absolutely not while James declares that some sins are worse than others. The disciples take sides, a punch is thrown, then a sandal. Peter has a bloody nose and James’ tunic is torn. They find Jesus who is lying down with a cold cloth on His forehead. Without opening his eyes, Jesus says, “Take her some flowers. Tell her they’re from me.”

The second year I taught, as I was discussing literary interpretation with a group of highly intelligent students, one boy who had been throwing out irreverent comments, made one comment too many and without thinking, I pivoted from the blackboard and threw the eraser at him. Very fortunately, I missed and he and everybody else laughed.

So, what do these disparate stories have in common?  Everyone has the occasional “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” and while I have chosen to share funny bad days, we have all had those days that aren’t funny, days that leave regret and guilt behind. I have been trying to clear out the regrets and guilt room in my head. I want to expand my headspace for a larger room full of love and forgiveness. James and Peter had heated theological differences, but in the end it all comes down to love. Jesus was distressed by the woman and the disciples’ requests, but he sent the woman flowers of love. I’m currently building a new room in my head. It’s called the Flowers Room. Hopefully, with intentionality and patience, I’ll be able to fill the room. Know a good florist?

Cindy Arp, teacher/librarian, retired from Knox County Schools. She and husband Dan live in Heiskell.

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