Growing up, there were a few rules in our house that simply weren’t open for discussion. One of the biggest was respecting your elders.

If an adult asked me a question, the answer wasn’t “yeah” or “no.” It was “Yes, ma’am.” “No, ma’am.” “Yes, sir.” “No, sir.” Those weren’t just polite words; they were expected. I didn’t question it because that’s how I was raised.

And we certainly didn’t call adults by their first names. They were Mr., Mrs. or Miss, followed by their last name. It didn’t matter if they were a neighbor, a church member, one of my parents’ friends or the cashier we’d seen every week at the grocery store. Using those titles was a sign of respect, and Mama made sure we understood that.

Looking back, those lessons weren’t really about manners. They were about recognizing the value of other people.

We were taught not to interrupt when an older person was speaking. We stood when someone entered the room, held doors open, offered our seat when needed and listened carefully when our grandparents or older neighbors shared stories. Sometimes we’d heard those stories before, but Mama would gently remind us to listen anyway because one day we’d wish we could hear them again.

Today, the world feels much more casual. Many families no longer insist on “ma’am” or “sir,” and children often call adults by their first names. Every family has its own traditions, and respect can certainly be shown in different ways.

Still, I sometimes wonder if we’ve become so casual that we’ve forgotten what respect looks like.

Maybe today it means putting the phone down when someone older is talking. Maybe it’s offering to help carry groceries, taking time to visit an elderly neighbor or simply listening without rushing them. Respect isn’t about making someone feel old. It’s about making them feel valued.

I still say “Yes, ma’am” and “Thank you, sir.” I still find myself calling many people Mr., Mrs. or Miss, even when they tell me I don’t have to. Old habits, I guess.

Or maybe they’re not habits at all.

Maybe they’re reminders of the values Mama worked so hard to teach me. Respect never goes out of style, and Mama was right. She usually was.

What Mama said: Life lessons you didn’t know you needed—until Mama said them.

Enjoyed this article. Read more What Mama Said… by Susan Espiritu.

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