Walking in our yard yesterday, I ran into a spider’s web. When I glanced down and saw a mid-sized black and white spider on my arm, I evacuated him so quickly that my watch decided I’d fallen and asked if it should call 911.

Checking to see if I needed an antibiotic for my summer cold, I called my doctor’s office. When the receptionist called me by name, I was initially astounded until it dawned on me that I’d identified myself at the beginning of the conversation.

The first of this month, while attempting to find a street name so I could meet my friend for lunch, I had a fender bender. Since my car was 12 years old, the insurance adjuster declared it totaled, which necessitated purchasing a new one for me. I have been on a roll.

A couple of years ago, the family met in Maui, Hawaii, for a vacation. After the plus 10-hour flight, all of us were exhausted, and instead of making any decisions that day, our son said, “You do you, and I’ll do me.” I filed that phrase away for contemplation.

I once taught a well-kept, polite 12-year-old girl whom I’ll call Jane. Jane was well-spoken, cheerful, and made good grades. One Monday morning, all of Jane’s teachers received a memo from the office stating that Jane would no longer be attending our school; she’d been taken out of her home by the Child Protection Agency. We were appalled, but one of the staff, a woman who bore a jagged scar down her right cheek, said, “Well, if you come from a bad place, you can either let it drag you down or rise above it.” At age 12, Jane had that. Jane had been doing Jane.

You doing you and me doing me also means that you only do you; you don’t try to do me. Let me clarify. If I am not causing harm and not breaking the law, then what I do does not warrant an unwanted opinion or action from another. I attend a church different from that person’s; my choice does not impede that person’s church of choice. My choice of a partner does not stop that person’s choice of a partner. Each person is choosing the path they feel is their best life choice.

If I do me, then I am responsible for my life. Our lives are impacted by events, genetics, people and an endless list. If this list rules our lives, the list becomes an excuse, a crutch, a source of misplaced anger; perhaps an unconscious roadblock to something about ourselves we aren’t willing to face or even understand.

I’m anxious, but then so is my whole family. Not useful. I have a temper; everybody in my family has one.  Again, not useful. More helpful thoughts might include words such as what, why and how. I am anxious. What about this situation is causing my anxiety? Why is this making me anxious? How can I calm this anxiety? Genetic dispositions, situational responses, whatever our personal list includes, do not give us a pass. At some point, we have to deal with them, not be ruled by them, and take responsibility for who we are. You do you, and I’ll do me.

I know the fate of the poor spider who landed on my arm; the ridiculous wonder on my part when I’d forgotten I’d given the medical receptionist my name; and my poor totaled car were all partially caused by my anxiety, but I am gaining a handle on the problems.

With the help of my new safety features-laden car, I am now the most attentive driver on the road. It talks to me all the time. It slows down when it thinks it should, moves the steering wheel if necessary, and gives all round views of the car’s surrounding area, including an aerial shot. Good grief! I realize that before I make any morning phone calls, I need to take a deep breath and have at least one cup of coffee, and I find myself more aware of my anxiety level. However, when it comes to spiders on my body, friends and neighbors, all bets are off.

Cindy Arp, teacher/librarian, retired from Knox County Schools. She and her husband, Dan, live in Heiskell.