I am a compulsive reader. No matter how many times I see road signs telling me where to turn, or Chick-fil-A’s ”Eat Mor Chikin” billboards, or even handmade signs, I read them. I even read the messages left in bathrooms or on walls. As absurd as this may be, sometimes reading everything reaps rewards or makes one laugh. Here are some examples.

I was in a public restroom the other day when I noticed a sentence written on the door: “I am a tree elf.” The restroom was shared between a coffee shop and a local pizza/bar sort of place, and I wondered if the author was an environmental dreamer, or someone with one beer too many.

Headed to my sister’s house in Memphis, a rest stop bathroom door sadly said, “No more parties in NOLA!”. Having been to New Orleans, I understood that one.

A neighbor of our youngest son has two bumper stickers on the back of his car. One says, “My other ride is a deteriorating body of flesh and bones” while the other says, “For an immediate summary judgement in your favor, name the obscure cultural reference in this bumper sticker.” Upside down at the bottom of this stick, are the words “Judge John Hodgman on Maximumfun.org.” Judge John Hodgman is a minor San Francisco television personality and certified fake internet judge who will, in a live podcast, solve problems fans send in.  Not being a hip young thing from the Bay area, I had to look that one up.

Billboards can send one down rabbit holes. In California I saw a sign saying “Tejon Indian Reservation, a Land Grant Reservation.” Close by was a hand-painted sign that said, “Photography Not Allowed.” Reading and researching this Reservation and the hand-painted sign was a mix of facts (first Indigenous Peoples Reservation in California, the land was granted by Mexico, and the no photography sign is there to make others mindful of respecting the dignity and beliefs of the residents. This reservation was one of many we have passed through, and it held in common with the others the poor housing, desolate land with some residences lacking common services such as water or electricity.  I found it to be yet another example of the damage done by 19th Century Americans’ dubious belief in Manifest Destiny. I guess signs can also bring back long-ago history lectures.

As silly/interesting as this type of ‘catch as catch can’ reading is, it is still a form of reading. When I was a high school librarian, I used to lure non-readers by putting a * Japanese Manga book in their hands. These Japanese-produced comics intrigue students because the traditional layout of these books begins at the back of the book and reads right to left. The books are short, come in various series, and show the student that he/she can complete a book, and it is fun. By the time they had run through the library’s entire Manga collection, they were used to having a book in their hands, enjoyed the experience and were ready for more. They became readers, via the gateway drug/books called Mangas.

One can read bumper stickers, bathroom walls, fiction or non-fiction books, newspapers, whatever. Reading gives one a convenient, portable tool at hand, a tool with which one can learn, be entertained, explore or simply escape daily life for a while.  I’d like to meet the person who said, “I am a tree elf.” I plan to listen to a Judge John Hodgman podcast, and I want to hear about good books. I want to read and read and read; even if it is road signs.

Cindy Arp, teacher/librarian, retired from Knox County Schools. She and husband Dan live in Heiskell.

*If gifting a Manga book, know that the back of these books has maturity ratings.