Since he was already in Farragut for Countdown to Light the Park, Santa generously agreed to write this guest column for the Farragut Insider. We are grateful that he would take time out of his busy schedule.
Thank you, Farragut Insider, for giving me this opportunity to share some thoughts. I find that people, especially children, would rather talk than listen to me. I try not to take it personally.
You may have heard that Christmas cheer helps power my sleigh on Dec. 24, and that’s absolutely true. Farragut has two very special holiday events that produce cheer in abundance, and I plan to be at both! Countdown to Light the Park is 5-7 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 25, at Founders Park at Campbell Station, and Celebrate the Season is 4:30-7 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 6, at Farragut Town Hall. I’ll pass out candy canes at the park and pose for pictures at Town Hall. I hope to see you at both!
Because your town has taken the time to build a special mailbox for me at Founders Park, I try to answer the letters I receive from Farragut promptly. You would be proud to know that these letters typically have excellent spelling and grammar – a credit to your fine schools. Be sure to post letters by Dec. 21 so I’ll have plenty of time to pack the sleigh.
This might be a good time for some pointers on crafting the perfect Santa letter. First, it’s polite to start with a general inquiry about me, or perhaps the reindeer. “How are you today?” or “I hope you had a good breakfast” would suffice. Then, due to economic constraints and the challenges of maintaining a reliable workforce, I’d ask you limit your wish lists to 10-12 requests. The elves are a cheerful bunch, but the complexity of today’s electronics tends to slow the assembly line, which causes them stress.
Letters that end with the promise of sweets keep me motivated during my long commute. I know that some of you parents have a low-carb lifestyle, but that kind of diet doesn’t work well in the North Pole. We must maintain our insulation!
I don’t know how many children read newspapers these days, but if any of you happen to be reading, don’t believe the rubbish you might hear about how I don’t exist, or that your parents really buy all the Christmas gifts. I’ll admit that adults do sometimes assist me with shopping, but that’s just to help the local tax base. For example, Nov. 30 is Small Business Saturday, so I know parents will want to buy a few gifts in Farragut that day. But children shouldn’t think for a minute that parents can do it on their own. Let’s face it – they’re a pretty exhausted bunch.
I hope everyone will be kind this holiday season, even if you don’t need anything from me. Hug your children, smile at those who need it (which is everyone) and be generous to those who don’t have as much as you. And keep spreading that Christmas cheer. It’s especially important this year, due to the impeachment hearings. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I promised I’d help the elves with a batch of Bluetooth speakers.
Town of Farragut public relations and marketing coordinator Wendy Smith is our reliable “insider.”