Paul DeLapp: What friendship looks like

Dan ArpPowell

I am a part of all that I have met.

I remembered the quote but had to google to remember it was a line from Ulysses by Tennyson. Quite often I think of people from my past and present. Sometimes I pick up the phone to reach out and touch. As happens with all of us, at times we are too late. Some of these people have passed on without our knowing.

That doesn’t diminish the impact they have had on our lives. As in the case of one who comes to mind, the impact doesn’t come until later in life.

Paul DeLapp

Paul DeLapp was an amazing man. I met Paul at the Downtown YMCA. I was in my thirties and Paul was 60. I was amazed that an old guy like that could be so active. Paul played racquetball and I started playing with him most mornings.

Now, one of the things I inherited from my mother was her flash temper. As in flash I mean like a flash of lightning. Quick to come, quick to go. My “flashes” came when I missed shots or otherwise played badly. Then I behaved badly. Slamming my racquet into the wall, stomping around and acting like a child.

On one of these mornings when we walked off the court, Paul turned to me and said, “Dan, we probably don’t need to play anymore.” When I asked why he said because he valued my friendship and if I continued as I had just done that friendship would be gone. I didn’t physically hit my knees, but I sank very low to the floor. I asked him to please give me another chance. He did. I grew up some.

I recently found out that Paul died in 2019. I miss him. Wish I could tell him how much I appreciate him showing me what friendship looks like.

Dan Arp lives with wife Cindy on their 12-acre farm in Heiskell.

 

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